plot twist i never met your mother you were adopted now go to bed
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Leave Note / Reblog
May 30, 2012
Probably got the biggest laugh of my HONY career when I asked for this guy’s story, and he answered in a complete deadpan: “Just running for President.” He then handed me a description of his platform, which among other things, included “a free pony for every American.”
I had a dream my life would be
so different from this hell I’m living
so different now from what it seems
now life has killed the dream I dreamed
“I always ask couples what their favorite things about each other are…”
“Well we aren’t a couple. We’re just friends. I’m helping him walk.”
“Oh, um…..”
“But we can still answer. I love his honesty.”
“And she’s my favorite person to have next to me.”
May 29, 2012
Oh my lord. That was fucking beautiful. WHY DID THEY CUT IT. HE WOULD HAVE SAID YES. AH.
